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Stock Market Entertainment

+58
nuwanmja
Junior investor
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ThilinaM
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Mohamed Siraj
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TraderCSE
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Quibit
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The Alchemist
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Chinwi
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K.Haputantri
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Academic
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SL.Market
62 posters

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151Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Fri Jan 27, 2012 4:25 pm

K.Haputantri


Co-Admin

Thanks guys.

152Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Fri Jan 27, 2012 6:32 pm

SL.Market


Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I do that all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I did it no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week."

Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm doing it just as much, but now it smells terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"

153Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:19 am

SL.Market


Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

No:119

There are primarily 3 different types of investors who post on the message boards.
1. Those who don't know anything: approx. 10%
2. Those who know a little: approx. 10%
3. Those who don't realize they don't know anything: approx. 80%
...........................................................................................................................


These two women were walking through the forest when they hear this voice from under a log. Investigating, the women discovered the voice was coming from a frog:
"Help me, ladies! I am an investment banker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"
The first woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The second woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into an investment banker?" The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than an investment banker!"
.......................................................................................................................

154Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:51 pm

sriranga


Co-Admin

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Captur21

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

155Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:46 pm

sriranga


Co-Admin

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Less10

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

156Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:45 pm

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

Little Amdon was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher
picked him to answer a question.

"Amdon, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one,
with your gun how many would be left?"
"None," replied Amdon, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well the answer is four" said the teacher, "but I like the way you are
thinking."


Little Amdon says, "OK. Miss, I have a question for you now."
"If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was
licking her cone, the second was biting the cone , and the third was
sucking the cone, which one is married?"

"Well", said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"

"No", said Little Amdon, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger,
but I like the way you are thinking."

157Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Prove that "PAPA=MAMA" Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:18 pm

sriranga

sriranga
Co-Admin

Prove that "PAPA=MAMA"

Answers:
1. Art Student - "Out of Course"
2. Commerce Student - "Wrong Question"
3. Medical Student - "WTF It's Impossible"
4. Engineering Student -
"Hmmmmmmmmmmm...............!!
It's so simple.

According to Newton's Second Law
F=MA----------------------(1)

We know that
Pressure(P)= Force(F)/Area(A)
P=F/A
F=PA----------------(2)

From Equation (1) and (2)
PA=MA
Squaring Both Sides
PAPA=MAMA
Proved no?
"Engineers are the species with solution of any Problem"

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

158Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Fri Feb 03, 2012 2:26 pm

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

No:124



Last edited by SL.Market on Fri Feb 03, 2012 2:35 pm; edited 1 time in total

159Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Fri Feb 03, 2012 2:30 pm

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
bullet

Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
bullet

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
bullet

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
bullet

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
bullet

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.


But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

160Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Fri Feb 03, 2012 2:34 pm

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

No:126

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

161Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:23 pm

sriranga

sriranga
Co-Admin

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Ma10

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Acc10

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

162Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty USED vs LOVED Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:55 am

sriranga

sriranga
Co-Admin

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.

In anger, the man took the child's hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.


Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder..
I hope you have a good day no matter what problems you may face
it's the only day you'll have before it's over.

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

163Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Wed Feb 08, 2012 3:07 am

CSE.SAS

CSE.SAS
Global Moderator

sriranga wrote:While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.

In anger, the man took the child's hand
and hit it many times not realizing
he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father.....
with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.


Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder..
I hope you have a good day no matter what problems you may face
it's the only day you'll have before it's over.

It is an emotional one. Thanks

164Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Wed Feb 08, 2012 11:30 am

K.Haputantri

K.Haputantri
Co-Admin

Thank you Shri.

165Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Wed Feb 08, 2012 1:49 pm

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

No:129

166Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Wed Feb 08, 2012 5:12 pm

K.Haputantri

K.Haputantri
Co-Admin

thanks SL Market.

167Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Fri Feb 10, 2012 12:31 pm

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"


Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"


Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"


This is how business is done!!

168Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Fri Feb 10, 2012 12:42 pm

K.Haputantri

K.Haputantri
Co-Admin

Good one.

169Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Intelligent Professor? Fri Feb 10, 2012 3:15 pm

sriranga

sriranga
Co-Admin

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.

The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time.

Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France."

The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door.

"Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

170Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Sat Feb 11, 2012 11:53 am

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

No:132

Question: Why do most married men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.

Question: What do diapers and Politicians have in common?
Answer: They both need changing regularly - for exactly the same reason.

Question: What is the definition of the early evening news?
Answer: It starts with the words "Good evening" then spends the next half an hour tellling you why it isn't one.

Question:What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time?
Answer: Your shinbone

Question: Why do parents give children a middle name?
Answer: So the child knows when it is in seriously in trouble

171Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Sat Feb 11, 2012 12:47 pm

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 9u50cp

172Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Check it up! Sat Feb 11, 2012 1:43 pm

sriranga

sriranga
Co-Admin

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[5] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[6] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[7] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[8] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[9] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[10] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[11] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[12] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[13] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[14]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[15]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[16]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[17] There is only one perfect married couple: Deaf husband and mute wife.

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

173Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Sat Feb 11, 2012 1:50 pm

K.Haputantri

K.Haputantri
Co-Admin

Its a nice one Shri. Thanks.

174Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Sat Feb 11, 2012 3:05 pm

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

175Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty CSE Investors Sun Feb 12, 2012 6:41 pm

sriranga

sriranga
Co-Admin

Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Untitl13

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

176Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:32 pm

Roboticfx

Roboticfx
Senior Vice President - Equity Analytics
Senior Vice President - Equity Analytics

aaeeooooooeeeeeeeettteeaaaaeeooeeeee
aaeeooooooeeqqqqqettteeaaaaeeooeeddde
aaeeooooooeeqqqqqettteeaaaaeeooeedddde
aaeeooooooeeqqqqqettteeaaaaeeooeeddddde
aaeeooooooeeqqqqqettteeaaaaeeooeeddddde
aaeeooooooeeqqqqqettteeaaaaeeooeeddddde
aaeeooooooeeqqqqqettteeaaaaeeooeeddddde
aaeeooooooeeqqqqqettteeaaaaeeooeedddde
aaeeooooooeeqqqqqettteeaaaaeeooeedddde
aaeeeeeeooeeqqqqqettteeeeeeeeooeeddde
aaeeeeeeooeeeeeeeettteeeeeeeeooeeeee



1.Select all letters shown above.
2.press ctrl+f
3.type 'e' and press enter
4.post the word that you see among letters.
5.enjoy! Very Happy

177Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Old Wisdom Tue Feb 14, 2012 2:40 am

sriranga

sriranga
Co-Admin

After working his farm every day, an old farmer rarely had time to enjoy the large pond in the back that he had fixed up years earlier with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and benches. So one evening he decided to go down and see how things were holding up. Much to his surprise, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a group of young women skinny dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave."

The old farmer replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only came down to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old age and treachery will always triumph over youth and skill.

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

178Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:15 pm

SL.Market

SL.Market
Vice President - Equity Analytics
Vice President - Equity Analytics

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.

The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

179Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Just for the day Tue Feb 14, 2012 9:21 pm

sriranga

sriranga
Co-Admin

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had had. He said, "Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." The she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to, sure had a real good time!"

http://sharemarket-srilanka.blogspot.co.uk/

180Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Empty Re: Stock Market Entertainment Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:06 am

sas

sas
Senior Manager - Equity Analytics
Senior Manager - Equity Analytics

2012-FEB-15 11.05 am
Stock Market Entertainment - Page 7 Ice_ag11

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