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FINANCIAL CHRONICLE™ » FUN CHRONICLE™ » Sharon Stone

Sharon Stone

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1Sharon Stone Empty Sharon Stone Sun Nov 16, 2014 10:03 pm

Senior Citizen

Senior Citizen
Senior Manager - Equity Analytics
Senior Manager - Equity Analytics



Carefree

Life was that much carefree and wonderful three months ago.
What really changed my life instantly was Sharon. You would not believe me if I told you that a minute substance as Sharon could have such an impact on me.

Wave of Spasms
Now getting to the nucleus of the issue. I happened to be struck by this burning sensation in my groin and I have never felt this way before in my life. I could not say that it was a wonderful feeling but awful would be a better adjective.
From this day onwards it was a recurrence of spasms, and it got me on my knees in utter humiliation. Never in my wildest dreams had I known that these experiences would allow my self to be focussed on something other than my career.
My job is exiting and hectic as ever, never finding a breather to let my mind wonder in any other direction. Wasting time on a minuscule matter as Sharon was not my 'piece of cake'.
I decided to relieve myself of the agony and these painful sensations. A visit to an expert to obtain some advice was long over due.

The Specialist

As I walked into his office I noticed that he was free and would devote his time and attention to my cause. It was like a rodeo that lasted only a few seconds. I had not even finished my last sentence explaining the predicament I was in before he wrote down a few prescriptions and wanted me to religiously carry out his instructions to the letter.
The roller-skating began from then onwards. Test after test was done. My anatomy was photographed and examined from every position imaginable and to all extremities possible. Why should they want to treat me like an ebola patient whose life was in jeopardy ?
Nevertheless, one cannot argue with these sorts of people. You pay what you ask for and that was that. Armed with all these electronic and digital records I returned to this specialist to whom I was now wholly dependent upon. He was my master and executor. I was compelled to do his bidding.
It did not take long for the specialist to do his math. A sucker is born every minute it is said and I tend to agree with that. I was a born sucker. He made arrangements for me to suffer in comfort. He booked a facility with the state-of- the-art equipment and other value added services.

A Visit To The Cold Room

Having settled down comfortably I found myself in the company of those who were ready and trained to nurse me to sleep. Having bathed and dressed for the occasion, I stepped into the four wheel conveyance provided by the facility. A modest one indeed. But the worst was yet to take place. Then I was taken almost with nothing on my body accept a green gown avoiding the stares and gazes of the passers-by who happened to be there. The place was creepy and cold. Very unlike a place to enjoy a bit of solitude and rest.
Many experts were all readily awaiting my arrival with such rare eagerness. As if I was the guest of honour at a most important event and I was supposed to utter some words of spontaneous wisdom.
The 'specialist' as I would like to refer to him, welcomed me with the smoothest talk ever and made me seated whilst he came straight to the point. I mean the syringe versus my rear end.
Suddenly I felt the pangs that of a pregnant woman (mind you based on all what I have heard only) as he jabbed me again and again until I felt a numbness overtake my torso downwards.
Waist below, I felt nothing. The anesthesia had got the better of me. I felt as if I had been transplanted with the legs of a pachyderm. I begged my master and executor to give me the honour of witnessing the entire ceremony on HD screen clearly visible from the prostrated position that I was subsequently placed in. This request proved futile as I was transported into another realm far away. I woke up later none the wiser to the proceedings that had occurred.
What I saw on the screen was just the tail end of a SAGA. The screen showed the specialist inserting a stent into the Urinary tract (urethra) section between the bladder and the right kidney.
I saw the laser blast splitting the kidney stone lodged right at the top of the bladder in the urinary tract. Thousands of particles were seen floating around in the water deep.
Just then the specialist turns aside towards me and hands me a small plastic container with a solitary stone made of a mixture of calcium and phosphorous. (Not a precious gem - it was a 1.3 CM sized Kidney Stone)
I looked at it rather suspiciously. Wasn't this the very STONE that had caused me all the excruciating pain and anguish.Without hesitation I named her 'Sharon Stone' that of a well known actress and MEGA star who caused many a soul regret that they were born into this world.
The Reality
That ordeal was finally over, but not entirely as I had the next shock of my life. I had to settle a phantom hospital bill of 190K. May be I could get this money back through the form of dividends from this entity which was a public quoted company.
For one full month I had this 'contraption-of-a-stent' inside my body lodged between my right kidney and bladder. Well it remained there to serve the purpose of preventing me getting an infection as the walls of the urinary tract were damaged after the laser 'misfiring' operation.
Frequent visits to the washroom were the order of the day. I was almost incontinent and could not control my bloody bladder movements. You could say that I was on the drip. Wherever I went I first ensured myself that there was a washroom not far away from where I was.

The Finale
Finally the day came for performing the stunt. I was once again taken to a small 'arm-pit' theater and was placed on the bed. My specialist, now richer by at least 125 K since the last time we met informed me what he was about to do with me. Without all the jargon, he told me that he was going to insert a thin wire like contraption with a camera and a small clamp attached at one end and pass it through my private parts right up the urethra into the bladder.
Oh! What a feeling that was. I groaned in agony and the only relief given was being told to hold my breadth for a while until that sensation passed away.
Now with the CCTV camera transmitting the position of the stent on to the monitor the specialist could see clearly how to maneuver the stainless steel wire and somehow got a grip at one end of the stent. With a slight pull I found a burning sensation passing down my urethra and suddenly the pain stopped.
As if I passed a worm, he dangled the stent before my eyes. Despite having gone through this nerve racking experience I did not forget to thank him for his painstakingly carrying out his job to my unutterable satisfaction. I looked down my body and I saw that it was a real mess. I was washed and cleaned with surgical spirits and some gooey cleaning agent.
Finally I was wheeled out of the operating theatre into my room. Will I have to return sometime later I thought? It will have to be over my dead body! After a few days I began to realize that I felt no discomfort at all after the stent was removed.
Life was so good once again!
This episode made me realize and appreciate the enjoyment of peeing which is one of the greatest free privileges ever!

2Sharon Stone Empty Re: Sharon Stone Sat Nov 22, 2014 12:44 pm

Senior Citizen

Senior Citizen
Senior Manager - Equity Analytics
Senior Manager - Equity Analytics

Dear Forum,

Please change the TOPIC to " Trip to HHL for a Kidney Operation"

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